One of the many things filling me with rage these days are the people who continue to voice the opinions they think are even handed, but actually show they want to make sure Israel can’t win. The Ceasefire people. They voice their concerns for both sides, but don’t say how a ceasefire is going to help get us back our hostages, or prevent another massacre. I guess they don’t care. It’s not their problem. And being mostly actors, i.e., lowlife entertainers in skimpy outfits doing sex scenes for a living, they aren’t rocket scientists.

So now the names on the Artists4Ceasefire list are the focus of my fury. People like Susan Sarandon, Mark Ruffalo, you’d expect. But Rachel McAdams, Rooney Mara, Mandy Patinkin, Jessica Chastain, Jon Stewart, Tony Kushner, Kate Blanchett? The list goes on. Lots of Arabs. I’ve printed it out. Never watching another thing they’re in and will write to the studios to have them cancelled.

But then too we get the other posts on TikTok. The words of a wonderful Australian politician who said: “Hamas aren’t soldiers. Soldiers don’t hold guns to the heads of children and kidnap whole families. I wouldn’t even call them militants, which is giving them too much credit. They are violent rapists and murderers. Thugs.”

That just about sums it up. And the other TikToker who called out all the people worried the Gazans. “There is only one moral issue now, only one: Freeing the hostages.”

The long wait. Every day we ask ourselves if this will be the day that our offensive against Hamas will actually start. We are all prepared to have the rockets fly over us. Our bomb shelters are ready: water, extra batteries, radios. Yes, of course, everyday there are the bombings. Mutual, except that ours are so much more effective. Theirs haven’t seriously hurt anyone no matter how many bombs they’ve launched at us. That’s a miracle. We, on the other hand, are watching our forces wipe out whole neighborhoods in Gaza, buildings collapsing in huge explosions with billowing black clouds that block the horizon. We are only bombing in areas Gazans were warned to evacuate. So anyone who dies has only himself to blame. And if he left his wife and kids there, well, he should have been more responsible. The bureau chief of Al Jazeerah in Gaza apparently lost his family today for just that reason.

But I can’t say that the casualties on the Gazan side give us any great feelings of satisfaction. They are all dead men, anyhow. Not even worth hating. Would you expend energy hating a rodent? That’s what they are Hamas. Rats. And there are millions of them. Whoever is buried under those buildings is one less
rat, but still a drop in the bucket.

How, one may ask, did Hamas grow so rapidly? In 2006 they were the elected government of Gaza, and the educational system they put into place had one purpose only: to teach jihad and antisemitism. So here we are, almost two decades later and they’ve raised a whole generation of savages and haters.

What we want, and what we are waiting for, is something serious to take place. Like an Entebbe-style rescue of our hostages. Israelis really need that. For their souls and their consciences and their sense of security.

But every time I want to scream in frustration: Go in already what are you waiting for!!? I remember who I’m sending. Among others, my grandson, Eilon.

He just got married. His wife Hadar is a doctor in Soroka and was part of the team that took care of the massacre victims and the soldiers. Eilon, who is studying for a Master’s degree in Computer Science at the Weizmann Institute of Science, is super super kind, generous, religious, a boy who volunteered to be in an elite unit that deals with explosives.

Just last night I was getting ready for bed and said: Okay, just one last look at the news. What a mistake! I went to Ynet, and there I saw the photo: Netanyahu talking to soldiers in my grandson’s unit! I studied the photo for so long, trying to find his face in the crowd. I couldn’t. But after that, the reality of his being there on the front lines, of his being told by the Prime Minister: “The fate of the Jewish people is in your hands” just made me shake with fear.

I don’t want him to go into Gaza and blow things up! I don’t want him anywhere near bombs or bloodthirsty Hamas terrorists who are going to emerge like rodents from their tunnels as soon as our precious boys go in! I don’t want that! And yet, what choice do any of us in Israel have, all us mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers, brothers and sisters? Our army consists of our families, not some volunteers from far away communities we have no connection to, like in the vast United States. There is no degree of separation.

So how did I finally get to sleep last night you might be wondering. I did the following: First I read the prayer for Israeli soldiers, then the prayer for the government of Israel, and finally my go to prayer, which is Psalm 27.

This is the prayer that got me through the Yom Kippur War. The Passover Massacre, which I narrowly escaped. My childbirths. It gives me strength, and reminds me that I am not in control, simply sheltering in the shadow of His great mercy and protection. I actually found myself getting sleepy. I actually allowed myself to fall asleep, my grandson cradled in my heart and both of us cradled in His.